Kali Yuga: How to live as the Lotus
Oh, the rajastic energy overcomes me sometimes, the urge to be active, the burden of energy around us, the red fire of life that flows drives me into my selfish self, this small girl, until i am overwhelmed. Why do i still do this? Why do i desire still to socialize, go out, make love, talk and talk and talk? Most fulfilling conversations are with Ma or Krishna anyway. Oh, they watch me as i climb into the fast pace of the worldly world, they sustain me as friends and family place their burdens of stress on me, does everybody else feel these burdens so acutely? Its like i feel their pain and suffering, and i'm not able yet to flush it all, to surrendur the negativity to God, i forget to ask sometimes.
I never want to leave God, never in my mind do i want to forget the Bliss, the Truth. I am blessed to feel it in odd moments, mundane moments and worldly ones. I want to speak of Spirit all the time, but only a few people in my world understand, or speak of Him too. This life confuses me, suddenly i have a boyfriend, energy that once went up now goes the regular route, the sexual way, and i know i'm burning karmas but i fear to lose the peace i've gained moment by moment, living disciplined. How to be the lotus, pure from the shit and dirt of this world, nurtured by it even?
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